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Five Sure-Fire Ways To Lose Custody In St. Louis

If you really want to lose custody of your child, whether your case is a divorce, a paternity or a modification, here are five things that will almost guarantee a loss:

  1. Register your child for school and do not list the other parent’s name on the enrollment papers. Better yet, list no name or someone else’s name.
  2. Tell your child all of the bad things about the other parent as a partner for you. After all, he or she deserves to know!
  3. Even better, enumerate all of the other parent’s failings as a parent for the child. Be certain to never praise or appreciate anything the other parent has done for you or the child.
  4. Move the primary residence of the child without following the requirements set forth in §452.377. Really, don’t even tell the other parent that you are moving. After all, he or she doesn’t take all of their custody time anyway.
  5. Take away telephone contact with the other parent as a form of discipline. Isn’t homework more important than talking to that loser on the phone? After all, he or she doesn’t even contribute to the cost of the darn cell phone for the kid!

BONUS: If you go to trial, be unable to identify any positive qualities that the other parent has as a parent or any way that you can improve as a parent!