Having the “divorce talk” with children can be difficult, and you may not exactly know how to address this. Below you’ll find helpful ways to address to your children you’re getting a divorce. We hope this article is helpful, but for any additional questions don’t hesitate to reach out.
Tips for the talk:
- When possible, talk together
- Keep it concise
- Focus on present and future
- Invite questions and thoughts
- Know that this is your first talk, not the last.
Examples:
- “We need to tell you that we’ve decided to get a divorce”
- “We know that this news may come as a surprise and that it may be hard to hear”
- “Our divorce will bring some changes [insert known changes]”
- “There are some things, however, that will never change. Like how much we both love you”
- “If you have any questions, now or ever, you can always come to us. We love you so much.”
Tips for the response:
- “We don’t know yet” is an acceptable answer!
- Empathy sounds like: “It’s ok to feel…”, “I understand you’re feeling…”, “You seem X and that’s okay, we get it”
- It’s okay to say things like “this is a great question, let us think about it and get back to you.”
- It’s okay to say “We understand you wanting to know, but that is just between grown-ups.”