I got this form of Co-Parenting Plan from a colleague many years ago for use in extreme cases where the parents are completely unable to co-parent and instead have the act in parallel. This co-parenting relationship provides the excruciating level of detail required in these extreme cases. It is not advised that people try to construct a plan like this on their own. An experienced family law attorney is essential.
How can a parenting plan help minimize conflicts between parents who cannot co-parent?
A parenting plan serves as a structured guide to help parents who cannot co-parent establish a healthy co-parenting relationship. It outlines child custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and other responsibilities, reducing ambiguity that often leads to conflict. For uncooperative co-parents, a parenting plan can specify parallel parenting techniques, allowing each parent to be involved in the child’s life without requiring good communication or a collaborative approach between them. The parenting agreement is often drafted with the help of a legal professional to ensure that it’s enforceable and fair. By setting clear expectations in a respectful manner, parenting plans can minimize conflicts most parents experience, reducing the risk of escalated disputes that could lead to criminal charges.
PARENTING PLAN
Physical Custody
Physical Custody:
- The parties are awarded joint physical custody of the child (“Sunshine”). The mother’s address will constitute Sunshine’s address for education and mail purposes. For the purposes of this Parenting Plan, the “on duty” parent is the parent who is caring for Sunshine on the dates and times provided in this agreement (or at any other time as agreed to by the parents ) and the “off duty” parent is the parent who does not have care of Sunshine at that same date and time.
CUSTODY FOR SUNSHINE WITH EACH PARENT WILL BE AT SUCH TIMES AS THE PARTIES AGREE. If the parties cannot agree, the parents will share parenting time as listed in sub-paragraphs “C” and “D.”
- Weekly: The parents will share Sunshine’s care according to the following schedule. Exchanges will occur at the close of school or, if school is not in session or Sunshine is not in school, then at 5:00 p.m.
Holidays and Special Days
The parents will share custody of Sunshine on holidays according to the following schedule. If a holiday or school break is not listed, the regular weekly schedule applies. Unless otherwise specifically noted, exchanges will occur at the close of school or, if school is not in session or Sunshine is not in school, then at 5:00 p.m.
| Holiday or Special Day | Sequence of Years | Parent
|
| Martin Luther King Day
From: 6:00 p.m. Sunday To: Tuesday |
All years with | Mother |
| President’s Day
From: 6:00 p.m. Sunday To: Tuesday |
All years with | Father |
| Spring Break
A five-day period, from Monday at 5 p.m. to Friday at 5 p.m., immediately adjacent to the parent’s regular weekend, such that the parent has a seven consecutive day vacation, either beginning on the previous Friday or ending on the following Monday. |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Mother
Father |
| Easter Weekend
From: 5:00 p.m. Friday To: Monday |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Father
Mother |
| Mother’s Day
From: 6:00 p.m. Saturday To: Monday |
All years with | Mother |
| Memorial Day
|
The parent scheduled to have the preceding weekend will extend his/her parenting time until Monday. | |
| Father’s Day
From: 6:00 p.m. Saturday To: Monday at 5:00 p.m. |
All years with | Father |
| July 4th Holiday
From: 6:00 p.m. July 3 To: 6:00 p.m. July 5. |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Father
Mother |
| Labor Day
|
The parent scheduled to have the preceding weekend will extend his/her parenting time until Monday. | |
| Halloween | Regular weekly schedule applies | |
| Thanksgiving
From: 5:00 p.m. Wednesday To: Noon Friday |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Father
Mother |
| Winter Break I
From: Dismissal of school To: 6:00 p.m. December 24 and From: 6:00 p.m. December 31 To: Resumption of school |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Mother
Father |
| Winter Break II
From: 6:00 p.m. December 24 To: 6:00 p.m. December 31 |
Even year with
Odd years with |
Father
Mother |
| Day Before Sunshine’s Birthday
From: 5:00 p.m. September 18 To: 5:00 p.m. September 19 |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Father
Mother |
| Sunshine’s Birthday
From: 5:00 p.m. September 19 To: 5:00 p.m. September 20 |
Even years with
Odd years with |
Mother
Father |
Holidays and special days listed below will prevail over weekends set forth in sub-paragraph “C,” above.
Summer
Each parent may have Sunshine in their care for one five-day period during Sunshine’s summer school break, from Monday at 5 p.m. to Friday at 5 p.m., immediately adjacent to the parent’s regular weekend (not to include a weekend holiday period such as Father’s Day or July 4th), such that the parent has a seven consecutive day vacation, either beginning on the previous Friday or ending on the following Monday. In even-numbered years, Mother will select her period by April 15, and Father will select his period by May 1, with the order and dates of selection reversed in odd-numbered years. Selections must be made in writing, via Our Family Wizard. A parent who fails to make a vacation selection by the deadline applicable to that parent forfeits the right to a vacation for that summer.
Exchange Locations and Transportation
When Sunshine is attending school or camp, all exchanges will take place at school or camp or at the before or after-care facility. Exchanges taking place when Sunshine is not in school or camp will be at Target at the Columbia Mall on Bernadette Drive. The parties must agree in writing (via Our Family Wizard) to any change in this exchange meeting place, and if they cannot agree, or if the change is not confirmed by both parties in writing, then the exchange location will be Target at the Columbia Mall as provided in this paragraph.
Other Provisions
Sick Days/School Cancellation
If Sunshine will not be attending school or camp because of her illness or because of a school cancellation (e.g., inclement weather), she will remain in the care of the parent in whose home she slept the preceding night, and the exchange will take place at 5:00 p.m. at Target. If Sunshine becomes ill while at school or camp (including before or after care), or if she is sent home from school or camp for any other reason, she will be released into the care of the parent scheduled to have Sunshine sleep in their care that night. (E.g., if Sunshine become ill while at school on a Tuesday, Mother will be responsible for retrieving Sunshine, or if she becomes ill on a Wednesday, she will be released into Father’s care.)
School and Activity Attendance
The off-duty parent will not remove Sunshine from school, an event, or an activity, whether camp, lessons, athletic, cultural, etc., taking place during the on-duty parent’s parenting time except as provided in paragraph G.1., above (Sick Days/School Cancellation).
Third Party Care of Sunshine
Each parent may designate any third party of their choice to pick-up Sunshine from school, events, or activities. Neither parent will remove from the list maintained by a school, daycare provider, camp, etc., the name of any third party designated by the other parent without prior written agreement of the parties confirmed through Our Family Wizard, a court order, or a decision from the Parenting Coordinator. If the on-duty parent is unavailable during their parenting time for any reason, the on-duty parent may designate a third party to care for Sunshine during their absence, including any overnight periods they are absent. The on-duty parent will provide the name and contact information for any third party caring for Sunshine during an overnight period when the on-duty parent is unavailable.
Non-Disparagement
Recognizing Sunshine’s need for a continuing relationship with both parents, each parent will exercise his or her best efforts to foster Sunshine’s respect, love, and affection towards the other parent and each will refrain from demeaning the other parent in front of Sunshine. Each parent will make all reasonable efforts to discourage others from disparaging the other parent while in Sunshine’s presence or in her hearing.
Accommodation of Sunshine’s Scheduled Activities
Both parents will accommodate Sunshine’s social and academic commitments.
Attendance at Events, Activities, Games, Etc.: The off-duty parent will not attend practices, lessons, routine sessions (for dance, gymnastics, and the like), field trips, or school parties scheduled during the on-duty parent’s custody time. Except for championships, tournaments, recitals, performances, awards ceremonies, graduations, and similar special events, the off-duty parent will not attend games and events scheduled during the on-duty’s parent’s custody time. Both parents may attend championships, tournaments, recitals, performances, awards ceremonies, graduations, and similar special or major events. Neither parent will interfere with the other parent’s enjoyment of the event. The on-duty parent shall accompany Sunshine to the events that occur during that parent’s time and the on-duty parent will permit Sunshine to acknowledge and greet the off-duty parent. The off-duty parent will not unreasonably detain Sunshine.
Telephone Access and Travel Information: Each parent will inform the other of his or her residence address and telephone number, the address and telephone number of his or her place of employment, and for extended out-of-town travel, the location and telephone number of his or her destination. The duty to update this information is a continuing obligation and will be done within a reasonable time after any change. If a parent travels outside the Columbia area with Sunshine, he or she will, at least seven days in advance, provide the other parent with the itinerary (flight numbers, departure and arrival dates/time, ports of call, name of cruise ship, telephone number and address of lodging) and telephone numbers where Sunshine may be reached, and will update this information as soon as possible if there are any changes or delays. Each parent will have the right to travel to any U.S. domestic location as well as any international destination with U.S. State Department travel advisory of no more than level “2” (“exercise increased caution”) with Sunshine without interference from the other parent. If Sunshine is to travel to a location unaccompanied by a parent, the decision for Sunshine to travel alone and all details regarding the itinerary for the trip must be agreed to by both parties at least 30 days before the proposed trip is to occur. If Sunshine travels alone, the travel itinerary for Sunshine will be posted on Our Family Wizard, and all updates, including confirmations of arrival and updates during the trip, will also be posted on Our Family Wizard.
Alcohol Use. Father will not consume alcohol within 8 hours prior to receiving custody of Sunshine, and he will not use alcohol during his parenting time. If there are any disputes between the parties concerning either party’s use of alcohol prior to or during their parenting time with Sunshine, the parenting coordinator may request that the parent submit to an ETG test, at the tested parent’s expense. The parenting coordinator may, as appropriate, commence a schedule of Soberlink monitoring for either parent at that parent’s cost. The parenting coordinator may reallocate between the parties costs for any testing.
Legal Custody
Joint Legal Custody:
Mother and Father are awarded joint legal custody. That award notwithstanding, each parent has the right to select one extracurricular activity (sport, music lessons, dance, etc.) occurring primarily on that parent’s custody days. Otherwise, both parents will agree before making any final decisions on issues affecting Sunshine’s growth and development, including choice of religious upbringing, choice of work-related child care provider, choice of school, course of study, special tutoring, extracurricular activities, including music, art, dance, and other cultural lessons or activities, such as music, art, dance, and gymnastics or other athletic activities, choice of camp or other comparable summer activity, non-emergency medical and dental treatment, psychological, psychiatric, or like treatment or counseling, the choice of particular health care providers, the extent of any travel away from home without parents, part or full-time employment, purchase or operation of a motor vehicle, contraception and sex education, and decisions relating to actual or potential litigation on Sunshine’s behalf. Neither parent will schedule activities for Sunshine during a time the other parent is on-duty without written agreement of the on-duty parent. However, each parent may make decisions regarding the day-to-day care and control of Sunshine and in emergencies affecting Sunshine’s health and safety while she is residing with him or her. The parents will endeavor, whenever reasonable, to be consistent in such day-to-day decisions.
School Choice: At Mother’s sole option, she may apply for any school in the Columbia, Missouri school that is available through the district’s lottery system and, if Sunshine is accepted through the lottery, she may enroll Sunshine in the lottery school. Mother will inform Father if she elects to apply to the lottery, and will provide Father the results of the lottery application in a timely fashion.
Decisions Concerning Medical Care and Medical Care Providers: Each parent will have the authority to seek any emergency medical treatment for Sunshine when in his or her care. Each will advise the other of any medical emergency or serious illness or injury suffered by Sunshine as soon as possible after learning of it, and will give the other parent details of the emergency, injury, or illness, and the names and telephone numbers of all treating doctors.
Notice of such events to the other parent will occur as soon as practicable. Each parent will inform the other before any routine medical care, treatment, or examination by a health care provider, including the provider’s name and telephone number. Each parent will direct all doctors involved in Sunshine’s care and treatment to give the other parent all information regarding any injury or illness and the medical treatment or examination, if requested. For purposes of this paragraph, a serious injury or illness is one which requires Sunshine (1) to be confined to home for more than 48 hours, (2) to be admitted to, or treated at, a hospital or surgical facility, or (3) to receive any type of general anesthesia or invasive surgical procedure or test.
Each parent must inform the other of any medication prescribed for Sunshine, including dosage and administration instructions, and each parent is required to provide any of Sunshine’s current medication to the other parent at the time Sunshine’s custody is exchanged. When the exchange takes place at school, medication will be left at the school following school policy for medicines brought to school.
Sunshine will continue to use Dr. Strep Crusher as her pediatrician and Dr. Painless Driller as her dentist. Any new or additional medical care providers must be selected by agreement of both parents. If the parents are unable to agree, the decision will be made through the procedure in the Parenting Coordination Order.
Work-Related Child Care. The parties will use Adventure Club for work-related child care during the school year at Sunshine’s public elementary school. All other child care, including summer and holiday work-related child care, will be selected jointly by both parents. If the parents are unable to agree, the decision will be made through the procedure in the Parenting Coordination Order.
Communication: The parties will use Our Family Wizard for all communication as provided on the attached order (Addendum A). The parties will communicate the following information using Our Family Wizard:
School Communication: Each parent will insure that the other parent is provided with copies of all communications or information received from Sunshine’s school, and if a second copy of the communication is not provided by the school will make a copy for the other parent and upload it to Our Family Wizard on the day it is received. Both parents will also have access to the School Student Portal, if available.
Each parent will make all reasonable efforts to obtain such information directly from the school. Each parent will notify the other parent of any activity such as school conferences, programs, sporting and other special events, etc., where parents are invited to attend, and the parents will determine whether one or both parties may attend the event as provided in paragraph G. 2., above. All such events will also be posted on the Our Family Wizard Calendar.
Medical Care Information: As provided in paragraph 2.C., above, the parent who obtains treatment for Sunshine will advise the other parent of any medical emergency or serious illness or injury suffered by Sunshine as soon as possible after learning of it, and will provide the other parent with details of the emergency, injury, or illness.
When a parent obtains any medical treatment for Sunshine, whether a routine examination or emergency care, that parent will post the details of the treatment provided to Sunshine including, but not limited to, the time and date of the event; the name and phone number of the treating doctors; a description of illness, injury or behavior requiring treatment; any diagnoses made; a description of the treatment provided at the appointment or visit; the recommendations and treatment prescribed for Sunshine, including identification and instructions for any prescriptions, follow-up treatment, referrals or other services or providers, or tests ordered; and any other advice or instructions provided by the doctor.
This information may be partially or fully provided by uploading and attaching to an Our Family Wizard message the discharge or treatment notes provided by the doctor, and anything omitted in the discharge or treatment notes will be supplemented by the parent who was present. This information will be posted on Our Family Wizard within eight hours following the event incident or appointment.
All medical provider appointments will be made for the first available date regardless of which parent can attend. The on-duty parent for that date will take Sunshine to the appointment. Both parents may attend the appointment unless the Parenting Coordinator directs otherwise.
Activity Information: For the one activity each parent selects, as provided in paragraph 2.A., above, the parent will post the description, the sponsor, the dates and times of the activity, and the location of the activity on Our Family Wizard. All practices, games, or events related to an activity, whether both parents may attend or not, will be posted on the Our Family Wizard calendar.
When a parent proposes an activity which will require a joint decision, that parent will make the proposal on Our Family Wizard and will post information including, but not limited to, a description of the activity; the name and contact information for the sponsor of the activity; any reasons for considering the activity; the cost; the location where the activity occurs; the frequency and estimated duration of each practice, event, or lesson as well as the period of time the child will be registered for the activity; what, if any, responsibilities the child and the other parent will have related to the new activity; the deadline for registration; and suggestions to resolve any conflicts with Sunshine’s other activities or events.
The parent proposing the activity will also attach to the message any registration material or provide a link to the web site where such material and information is located.
Forgotten Items: If Sunshine leaves an item at a parent’s home and needs it at school, camp, athletic or other practice, or at the other parent’s home, the parent at whose home the item was left will deliver the item to the school or to the appropriate location. If the item needs to be delivered to the other parent’s home, it will be left, if possible, in the mailbox.
Neither parent will remain at the other parent’s home longer than is required to drop off the forgotten item. If the item must be left outside of the mailbox, the parent leaving the item will take all reasonable precautions to protect the item from the elements and from theft, but neither parent will enter the other parent’s home without the latter’s express, written permission.
The parent leaving the item will send a message to the other parent via Our Family Wizard at the time the item is dropped off, including relevant information as to time or temperature sensitivity. A parent may not take a child to the other parent’s home or direct a child to enter the other parent’s home during the other parent’s period of custody.
Access to Records: Each parent will be entitled to immediate access from the other or from a third party to records and information pertaining to Sunshine, including medical, dental, health, child care, school, and educational records, and each will take whatever steps are necessary to ensure that the other parent has such access.
Sunshine Not Involved in Court or Financial Communications: The parties will not talk about adult issues, parenting matters, financial issues (excluding the choice and cost of college), and other court-related topics, when Sunshine is present. Such discussions will not be had during custody exchanges or during telephone visits. Sunshine will not be used to carry such messages or written communication, or child support payments, between the parents.
Resolution Of Disputes: If the parties fail to agree on the interpretation of the Parenting Plan, or if they are unable to agree upon a final decision on issues affecting Sunshine’s growth and development or health and safety, they will submit the dispute to the Parenting Coordinator, under the terms of the Parenting Coordination Order, attached as Exhibit B.
Support
Child Support: Father will pay Mother $789 per month for support of Sunshine, retroactive to September 1, 2017. This amount is the presumed child support calculated under Form 14.
Health Care Costs:
Mother will maintain a medical, dental and vision benefit plan covering Sunshine through her place of employment, the cost of which has been included in the Form 14 calculations under the Missouri Child Support Guidelines. All health expenses incurred on Sunshine’s behalf and not paid by the health benefit plan will be paid 75% by Father and 25% by Mother.
Unless both parties have agreed to use a health care provider that is not covered by the health benefit plan, if a parent incurs an expenses to a health care provider that is not covered by the health benefit plan that would have been covered, or covered at a more favorable rate, if a provider included in the plan had been used, then that parent will pay 75% and the other parent 25% of the uncovered expenses. Reimbursements for the cost of extraordinary expenses, except for the one activity as previously provided, will be made as provided in paragraph 12.
“Health expenses” are defined according to Internal Revenue Code (1987) §213 “Medical, Dental, etc., Expenses” or any other section enacted in replacement of, in addition to, or in substitution of that section, and any Internal Revenue Regulation including, but not limited to, §1.213‑1 and any relevant Regulation enacted in replacement, in addition to or in substitution of that section, or any relevant Treasury Decision, Regulation, or any Revenue Ruling defining those types or kinds of medical costs that are deductible under the Internal Revenue Code. “Health expenses” and also include optical care (including, but not limited to, prescription eyeglasses or contact lenses and eye examinations conducted by an optician, optometrist, or ophthalmologist), treatment, and appliances. Travel necessary for Sunshine’s medical treatment is included, but only to the extent of Sunshine’s expenses, and not those of either parent.
Extraordinary Expenses: Mother and Father will each pay for the expense of the one activity they are allowed to select for Sunshine as provided in paragraph 2.A.. For all other activities, Father will pay 75% and Mother will pay 25% of the cost of extraordinary expenses for Sunshine, including educational expenses (other than college, but including college preparation and testing), school lunches, summer camps, extracurricular activities, sports, tutoring, travel by Sunshine without her parents, purchase, insurance, and operating costs for a vehicle, and any other expenses mutually agreed upon by the parents, in writing, via Our Family Wizard, before incurring the expense. Reimbursements for the cost of extraordinary expenses, as provided in this paragraph, will be made as provided in paragraph 12.
Child Care Expenses: Father will pay 75% and Mother will pay 25% of the cost incurred for work-related school year, holiday, and summer child care. Father will advance payment for the entire cost of work-related school year child care and summer child care, and Mother will reimburse Father for her portion of the cost as provided in paragraph 12.
The parents will share the costs of any agreed-upon out-of-home care (e.g., before and after school care, summer day camp, etc.), but each parent will be individually responsible for all in-home care (e.g., nannies, baby sitters, etc.).
Reimbursement Protocol: Within 30 days of incurring an expense (an expense is “incurred” when payment is first due), each parent will provide the other with amount of the expense incurred and proof of payment for medical, education, and extracurricular expenses, as set forth in paragraphs 9, 10, and 11 of the Parenting Plan, using the expense reporting and tracking features in Our Family Wizard.
For purposes of this paragraph, “proof of payment” means any of the following: statement, invoice, or canceled check. In the case of medical expenses, the parent incurring the expense will also include an explanation of benefits from the insurance company, if applicable. A parent owing money to the other will reimburse the other parent within 30 days of receipt of proof of payment.
If a parent fails to make payment by the 30th day, the amount due will carry interest on it at the rate of 1% per month until paid. The parties will cooperate with each other concerning the submission of insurance claims for health services rendered for Sunshine, and each will promptly refund to the other as appropriate any sums paid by the other for which there is insurance reimbursement.
Except for good cause, no reimbursement will be required if the request for reimbursement is not made within 60 days of the date the expense was incurred. The parents will reconcile all open, unpaid, and submitted expenses in Our Family Wizard every quarter (March 31, June 30, September 30, and December 31 of each year) for the previous quarter within 15 days of the end of that quarter. If the parties are unable to agree, the decision about any reimbursements owed between the parties will be made through the procedure in the Parenting Coordination Order.
Tax Issues: Mother will have the right to report Sunshine as a dependent and qualifying child for income tax purposes.
If you are dealing with an uncooperative co parent, it is important to consult with an attorney to make it sure that everything is not falling on the one parent.