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The 9 Things You MUST Tell Your Divorce Attorney

Divorce is hard.  Whether you have been married for a very short time or many years, divorce is the end of hopes and dreams.  Divorce is expensive, emotionally and financially.

Some people choose to represent themselves, and this advice is not for those brave souls.  It must be repeated here that it is often said that an attorney who represents himself or herself has a fool for a client, and the same is surely true of the non-attorney who acts as his or her own attorney.

If you have an attorney for your divorce (or modification or other family law matter), here is a list of the 9 things that you must be certain your attorney knows.

  1. The single most important thing to me:
  2. The second most important thing to me:
  3. The following things are important to me, but they are not essential.  I am willing to negotiate about these items:
  4. The following items are not all that important to me, but I would like to keep them in mind as part of my overall outcome:
  5. The following things are of no consequence to me whatsoever:
  6. Are my goals realistic and if not, why not:
  7. This is what I think are the most important things for you to know about the other person or people on the other side of the case:
  8. What I think is the most important thing to the other person or people involved in this case:
  9. What I think is the greatest tissue between me and the other person or people involved in this case:

If you are worried that your attorney will think an honest answer to any of these questions will be silly or petty, you have the wrong attorney.

Always remember that the court system and the laws are not always going to be what you perceive to be fair, and sometimes the answer to whether something can or will happen will be “no”, and the explanation will be “because it just won’t happen.”  That does not mean that you have a bad attorney, just an honest one.

Giving your attorney your answers to these questions will allow your attorney to better prepare tot handle your case and also to better serve you and your needs.