Why you should be a FOB (Friend of Bill W.) During Your Divorce
You know about Bill W., don’t you? He is the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, the support group that has probably helped millions overcome alcohol dependency.
By legend, each AA meeting begins with an invocation that includes the powerful words “God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change to things that should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.”
While there is not a direct application to being divorced, the concept is the same: to retain your sanity during a divorce it is essential to understand the outcomes that might be changed by fantastic advocacy (by you or your lawyer) and the things that seem so incredibly unfair but are not going to change, regardless of how hard you fight or how much money you spend. If the arguments you are making are not effective, repeating them more fervently is unlikely to help and will just make you frustrated and angry.
Remember that divorce is the death of your family (whether or not you had children) and it is okay to be sad. But when sad becomes debilitating or turns into mad, its time to seek help from a mental health professional nd not just an attorney and counselor at law.
If talking to your lawyer about divorce-related issues makes you confused and afraid more often than not, its time for a new lawyer.
Always, always remember to concentrate on the things what you can change (and the plan to do so) and to let go of the things that you cannot change.